Nicole Lee

SGT US Army

CAL and my amazing Squad Leader helped me find a way to deal with the anger and the frustration and the depression that is PTSD. It pushed me out of what had become my “comfort” zone, back into the gym, being around people again and working out as a coping mechanism instead of the unhealthy habits I had previously turned to.

Biking and the gym are my new habits, what I do now when I’m struggling or mad or anxious or any of the feelings that ruled my life for quite some time. And those bad emotions that used to rule my life? They happen far less than ever. I sleep better, I feel better, I look better, I am better…all thanks to CAL. It took me some time to get out of the funk I had buried myself in but I have been working out my problems the right way for some time now and I’m still going strong. I finally decided that I am injured but I am not out of the game, I just had to find a new one. I have PTSD, but I won’t let it have me.

I fought myself for a long time, raging against PTSD and being hurt. CAL helped me learn to live with it instead. The following is a copy of one of my Facebook posts regarding CAL and the mindset CAL has helped me finally achieve:

“Since I got hurt, I’ve been struggling with the fact that I can’t workout the way I used to, that I can’t run like I used to, can’t just be who I used to and I have been fighting myself over this for a long time.
Through some pretty awesome Veterans groups and some amazingly supportive friends I rediscovered how much I like to ride.

Everyone keeps telling us about our “new normal” and I wasn’t OK with that for awhile; I just wanted to be able to do what I could before, so I kept re-injuring myself forcing my way through a run.
I’ve been creeping up my distance on the bike and pushing my time and today I hit my farthest distance at a decent pace and well, I’m pretty happy with that. So I’m letting go of what was, getting OK with what is and enjoying the view from two wheels…at somewhere around 18.5MPH